Thoughts on 2013

 
2013.

It was a year of extremes.

It was the year I hit my emotional rock bottom.

It was the year I soared high almost reaching the peak of my dreams.

2013 was a year of extremes.





First Half

January kicked off in doldrums. I was in between jobs then. It was when I finally made up my mind after a painstakingly long time of choosing the career I would pursue. I gave myself an ultimatum the last part of 2012 to finally decide whether to get a sedentary job I would do for the rest of my life or to take the road to music as did my parents. Apparently, I chose the latter (and so far I claim it as the best decision I've made in my 24 years of existence). I became very focused on bettering myself from detail to detail. I told myself, if I'm gonna do this, it has to be perfect. Everything should fall into place and I would not settle for less. I have to be excellent in all my endeavors, most especially this.

January was the month I decided to chase my dream.

And the first half of 2013 trudged into that wondrous journey.

First Irony

The drive to reach that highest peak was astounding. I was unstoppable. During the course of the first and second quarter, I landed regular gigs, met influential people, even made it to two callbacks in a TV reality show. Everything was just happening so fast, I was climbing up the ladder of the entertainment circuit, so to speak. I didn't even have time to stop and be stunned by the chain of events I didn't imagine would happen to me, and all at the same time!

The irony?

In the midst of my professional success, my long time relationship did not survive to see the light of day.

Fate had a sense of humor.

This was by far the most unexpected turn of circumstances. I did see it coming but it wasn't what drove me to my rock bottom. (Another irony. LOL). Delving into the details of the breakup would take so much so I'm just gonna leave it at that. It was a day I knew would come but I just did not expect so soon, but it was bound to happen anyhow. And just as I accepted all the great things God had been giving me, I realized it was only fitting I also accept the "not so great things" as well. I accepted what happened with an open heart and moved on.

Second Half

From June through the latter part of the year, everything was still trending up with regards to my singing engagements. I remember back when I was under the so-called "quarter life crisis" in 2012, I imagined I just had to land a couple of gigs and be ok with that just as long as I could maintain at least 2-3 weekly regular gigs. Note that during that time, I only had 1 on-off gig, sometimes only twice a month.

What was just surreal was that I kept getting surprised. I kept surpassing all the expectations I set for myself. TV and radio guestings started pouring in, even theater plays, concerts and shows wanted me. It was unbelievable!

It's true that when you hit the bottom of the pit, there's just nowhere else to go but UP.

In September, I had my first successful solo mini-concert at Citrus Bar in Renaissance Tower. Shortly after, I received another unbelievable news. The best surprise, and the highlight of my year (nay, MY LIFE!!) was my ALIW AWARD nomination for Best Female Performer in Hotels, Bars and Music Lounges. I literally cried as I received the news. I even said I didn't have to win. Just to be seen, recognized and be considered as one of the best entertainers in the country was overwhelming. This inspired me exponentially!


At this point, I was convinced that fate really had a sense of humor. :)

Second irony

I was caught up in the whirlwind of my new found successes when  the second wave of irony(-ies) came.  This time, two events almost shook down my family. Again, delving into details on that requires an entire blog entry so let's just talk about that later. ;p Anyhoo, these events were my rock bottom.

It was during this time that I went through a series of deep introspection. As much as I was grateful for the wonderful things that befell my humble existence, I began questioning if this happiness, if this success comes with a price. Was it God's way of balancing things? It was so extreme. Since time immemorial, I haven't encountered such a wild and contrasting deluge of emotions.

But I told myself even then that someday, everything will make perfect sense. I know that one day, I will look back, enlightened, and see that everything was just in its rightful place and all things happened because it had to happen. Luckily, I never had to wait an entire lifetime to see that day. :)



Reflections & Learnings

With everything that transpired this year, it was evident.

• EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

• There are no coincidences.

•  There are no fairy tales as well.

• We always have to live in the moment. CARPE DIEM! Seize the day!! Our lives are ending one day at a time. 

• Never slow down! Not for anyone. Not for anything!

• Chase after your dreams. In dreaming, there are no limits. Only you create those limits in your mind.

• Love yourself, above all.

• Be grateful for the good things. Just the same. Be grateful for the "not-so-good" things. They are both necessary to make up the entirety of one's growth. 

• Choose a job that you love. One that you never have to pull the hours and force yourself out of the house for. If you do that, you'll never live another day working. (True that, Confucius!!) 

• Nothing lasts forever.

• This may sound cliche but I'll say it anyway. There is always a silver lining. A rainbow after the rain. A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. 

• Things happened because it had to happen. And it's always for the better. In the midst of confusion, trust that God let things happen because you need to go through it. GOD ALWAYS HAS A PLAN!

This could have been the perfect year-end post.  I apologize for the late surge of inspiration for this blog entry. LOL

To cap off this post and my year end reflection, let me patch in a line from Semisonic's song "Closing Time"

"Closing time.. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end"

Here's to a hopeful, rollercoaster 2014! Cheers!