3 moons of loneliness

Three months.


It has been three long months since I last found myself dancing away in unbelievable bliss of excitement.


Three months.


And now, I feel as if I’ve been away from home for a really long time and now coming back to where I belong and having this weird deluge of emotions. Along with a pleasant anxiety is a strand of wonder if that person I so longed to see is still wearing the same old face that I dearly love.


Will it be the same as before?


Those questions, I prefer not to answer. And you know what, I’ll patch in here my horoscope for today. A very essential advice indeed, for it says that I should not be too preoccupied of creating special situations. Forget about the planning and coordinating, and excessive imagination. It’s kinda hard not to do that though, coz I’m sure a lot of us, in one way or another, especially if we’re very much excited of what’s to come, we tend to play videos in our minds of the most ideal and scenic (and even cinematographic) situations that we hope would happen in real life (especially when you watch too much movies *ouch*). Then, at the end of the day, when it didn’t turn out exactly the way we dreamed, we hit our pillows with a pinch of disappointment in our hearts.


It’s happened to me a lot of times before.. So yeah, I guess I should consider that. I mean, the most romantic nothings happen spontaneously, so as they say. I’ll just let destiny take over and weave its magic on me. Ooh, exciting, yet again!


But, the best part about excitement?


The heartbeats that go faster and slower at the same time.


Too much liquid intake.


Incapability of sitting up straight for 5 minutes.


Pessimistic thoughts that are overshadowed by sweet anticipations.


The unbearable anxiety.


The promise to yourself that you’ll be mad and you won’t talk to him because, for the nth time, he’s late.


The litany of calls and texts every 10 seconds asking where on earth he is already.


The last sand of patience dropping, then just before the very last particle falls, he enters through the door, looking every whichway, looking for you.


And at that sight, every evil thing you listed that you’d do to him will just magically vanish and you’ll realize that finally, the three months of waiting, longing and dreaming is over.


I’ll be seeing you, my dearest.