Oxymoron ( - oxy ) = ?

It may seem like a blatant oxymoron that I now blog about all the negativities that's been revolving around my psyche the past couple of days. I know, I was all into the "YES" man sort of mantra just weeks ago, but I can't help it. I'm only human. And here starts my litany of disappointments and frustrations.

Expectations screw relationships up. It's true. It's the only truth that would glare right at you for more than a couple of times in your life. What's also quite funny to discern is that you always put yourself in a position where   you expect too much from people who already brought you down before, and still be surprised every time it happens again. Oxymoron? More like it, minus the "oxy".

The great mistake I've repeatedly made was to trust in people's words, and expect that everything would turn out good, defying my inner voice of reality screaming out that I'm trudging into the fairy-tale-ish dream state again where every person is nice, and sweet and perfect, and won't hurt me. Too bad, regrets always come last. Why can't regrets come first? IF that's the case, I am most definitely certain suicide rates would dramatically fall, a huge percentage of the world's population won't be depressed, fat or addicted to something. In short, if regrets come first, the world would be a better place. But that's not how life works. We have to taste the painstaking test first before we can learn the lesson. No wonder trust, love and justice are the most scarce virtues in humanity. Faith in other people's goodness had been slowly diminishing for generations. I wouldn't argue. You can't trust people anymore, even those you thought you really knew.

IN a nutshell, yes, I have been let down. I've been hurt. I trusted but I was misled, disillusioned and betrayed.

I am a ?